


Dare You To Let Me Be

by theycallmelolo



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-20
Updated: 2014-04-01
Packaged: 2018-01-16 09:25:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1342111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theycallmelolo/pseuds/theycallmelolo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis doesn’t turn around. Louis doesn’t do sloppy seconds… even if they are really pretty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Louis stands in the kitchen, nursing his beer and looking around. This was his official welcome home party from the semester he spent in the States but he only knows about half the people in his flat.

“Hey Lou. Having fun at your party?”-Niall stops to ask, while some blonde chick hangs on his arm.

“Course! Only know about half the people though. It’s kind of weird.”

“What? I wasn’t allowed to make new friends while you were away?—Niall pinches Louis’s cheek. “Come on, like people need an excuse to party around here. But really welcome home Lou!”

Louis flashes a smile and watches as Niall and the blonde disappear out to the living room now a dance floor.

Louis helps himself to another beer and walks out to the backyard for a smoke. Louis has been home for almost three days and is feeling stuck. Stuck in-between missing NYC and happy to be back at uni. Spending the semester in NYC was just amazing. He loved everything about the city, it’s gritty, crowded, busy and fast paced. The people, the buildings, the cultural. But now he is jet lagged and exhausted. He feels a little pang of regret that it’s his welcome home party and all he wants to do is sleep.

Louis notices three lads, he of course does not recognize, standing in a circle smoking a joint. Louis clears his throat—fuck it, this is  _his_ welcome home party—all three boys turn his direction.

“Hit?”—the curly hair one asks while holding up the joint in Louis’s direction.

Louis walks over, turning their circle into a square. Louis takes a long hit of the joint before passing it to the guy to his left. All three boys stare at him like they don’t know him. No shit. It seems to hit the curly boy first.

“Ohhhh you’re Louis, right?”—the curly one speaks again. Louis notices just how pretty the curly boy is. Fuck, actually all three of these boys are hot. It’s like some hot guy only club. But the curly one, now has the most genuine smile Louis has ever seen. Deep dimples. Louis actually has to fight the urge to touch them with his fingers.

“Yup. I’m Louis. This is my party.”—Louis smiles and takes a gulp of his beer.

“Well I’m Harry. These are my flat mates, Zayn and Liam.”

“Nice to meet you lads. Welcome to my welcome home party.”

All three boys let out a chuckle. All three of them seem like they are not sure if Louis is being sarcastic or funny. The curly one chimes in first.

“Niall invited us. Met him in the beginning of the year, found out he played guitar. We’ve been hitting up open mic night every Wednesday for the past few months. He talks about you a lot so I feel like I already know you.”—Louis gets the impression that the curly one is trying win him over. It may be working. Harry continues; “Also I’ve been hanging out with Ben too.” Fuck Louis thinks. There it is.

Fucking Ben, his other roommate. Niall begged Louis to let Ben live with them last year. “Come on, Lou. He is gay like you. How _great_ is that!” Niall and Ben hit it off right away but there was something about Ben that Louis just couldn’t stand. Yes, he is also gay but he is just an ass. The love ‘em and leave ‘em type. Honestly, Louis may be the only gay man on campus who hasn’t slept with Ben. It makes it a little difficult when every boy you fancy has already slept with your roommate. Louis was never into sloppy seconds especially when they are _Ben’s_ sloppy seconds. That was one nice thing about NYC, Ben had never been there so Louis had his fair share of action. Louis let out a sigh, thinking it’s _good_ to be home.

The four exchange small talk, as they continue to smoke. They ask Louis a tons of questions about the States. Louis turns when he hears Ben’s familiar voice from the back door.

“Fuck, Harry I’ve been looking for you. Come dance with me.”

Harry flashes Louis a quick smile and mutters something about nice meeting you before grabbing onto Ben’s hand walking inside to the dance floor. Liam and Zayn exchange a few more minutes of small talk before Zayn spots a girl that Louis actually recognizes and quickly runs off to catch up with her. A few moments later Liam excuses himself for a quick wee and another drink.

Louis may or may not be hiding in the backyard. He is sitting in a patch of grass with a few bottles of beer surrounding him. He is not sure how long he’s been out here but he really has no desire to go back in the house. Louis can’t seem to shut off his mind from thinking about Harry. Pretty Harry. And his lanky body, curly hair, big hands, wide lips and kind eyes. Gay Harry. Fuck. Why did pretty gay Harry have to sleep with Ben? It’s just a fucking damn shame that Louis will never get to enjoy his hands and his mouth. Fucking Ben. God, if Harry isn’t reason enough to stop sleeping around then there may be no hope from Ben after all. Louis is pretty sure there may be nobody physically more perfect in this world than Harry. This coming from a guy who may have hooked up with a majority of the gay population in Manhattan. Yup, welcome home Louis.

***

Louis is buzzed and feeling fuzzy. He is actually giggling to himself, alone, in his backyard, at his own welcome home party. Really, it's humorous. Louis hears somebody coming out of the backdoor and quickly turns his head. It’s Harry and he may be more drunk than Louis at this point. He watches as Harry stumbles down the two small steps that lead out to the backyard, flinging out his arms as he tries to balance himself. Harry looks down at the patch of grass and finds Louis sitting there.

“Hiiiiiiii.”—Harry’s face is flushed and speech even slower than normal. Harry walks over to Louis’s patch of grass and plops down with a thud. “Why you out here alone?”

“Normally love to be the center of attention just not feeling it tonight, I guess.”—Louis answers. “Thought you were dancing with Ben.”

“Not sure what happened to him.”—Harry runs his fingers through some blades of grass.

Louis lets out a chuckle. “Did you check his bedroom?" --Louis regrets saying it right after he does. But it’s too late now. He watches as something flashes over Harry’s eyes. Shit. Louis realizes that Harry probably knows that he is one of many. But like all the pretty boys they just _keep_ falling harder for Ben. They deal with being treated like shit and second best until they reach their breaking point. Always thinking _they_ may be that one…that one special guy that changes Ben’s ways. Until they realize that’s not actually going to happen cause Ben’s a fucking dick. Louis can tell Harry hasn’t reached that point yet. He is still in the denial phase.

“Nice meeting you, Louis. ‘Gonna walk home now I think. Bit drunk and tired.”

“Where do you live Harry?”

“Just down the block. Welcome home Louis.”

“Let me walk you.”

“Not a girl can walk myself.”

“I know Harry. Just I could use a break and stretch my legs.”

Louis wasn’t lying, he always enjoys walks when he is buzzed. He also feels kind of guilty like he is the reason that Harry is eager to leave all of a sudden. Fuck him and his honest drunk mouth.

“You lead the way Harry.”—Louis opens the latch on the gate and motions for Harry to walk in front of him.

Harry and Louis walk in silence for most of the trip. Louis isn’t sure if Harry is clumsy or just a bad drunk. Twice Harry trips over either a crack in the sidewalk or his own two feet. Either way. Louis reaches for his elbow twice to help stabilize him. Harry comes to an abrupt stop, turns around looking confused.

“Oh shit, passed it”—Harry let out a snort.

Retracing a few of their steps Harry stops in front of his flat. Hopefully the right one this time.

“You sure this is it?”—Louis can't help himself from laughing.

“Fuck off. Yes.”

“You sure you’re good?”

“Yes, think Li is home. Thanks for walking with me, getting me home safe and sound.”

“Welcome. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you around. You preforming with Niall, hooking up with Ben and all.”

“I’d like that a lot Lou.”

Louis turns to walk back home feeling two eyes on his back. Thank God he wore these pants, the ones that make his ass look good. Phenomenal even. Louis doesn’t turn around. It’s just that Louis doesn’t do sloppy seconds… even if they are really fucking pretty.

 


	2. two

Louis stands in the living room, it smells like stale beer and something else he can’t place. Oh right. Vomit maybe? It’s now Sunday afternoon and conveniently both Niall and Ben are MIA. Classes start back up tomorrow, Louis was planning to relax for the day and get his books this afternoon. Louis is hoping that he won’t be responsible for cleaning the whole house on his own. Shit the house can wait.

Louis walks out to the porch for a smoke. Its unseasonable warm out this morning and the fresh air seems to be easing the nausea in his belly and the pounding in his head. Louis catches movement out of the corner of his eye, squinting he makes out a familiar face running towards him. Fucking Harry. He has on t-shirt, basketball shorts and his curls tied up in a colorful head scarf. Fucking hell, even as a sweaty mess he is still so pretty. Harry seems to be slowing down when he notices Louis sitting on the porch. Louis gives a quick wave and Harry flashes him a smile.

“Hey Louis.”—Harry comes to a complete stop, resting his hand on the porch rail.

“Hi. Guess you’re feeling good enough this morning to go running? Christ.”

Harry lifts the bottom of his shirt to wipe off his brow, exposing his cut stomach. Louis swallows hard when he notices the butterfly tattoo and birds that adorn his chest and stomach. He notices a few more tattoos that he can’t make out from this angle. A quick image of Louis running his fingers and tongue over Harry’s tattoos flash in his mind. Fucking Ben.

“Running always helps me feel…less hung-over. Plus, couldn’t let this beautiful weather go to waste.” Harry looks up like he is saying thank you to the sun for shining. “You excited to get back to classes tomorrow? Must be hard after being away last term.”

“Eh, ready to get back in the routine. Should be a good term. Interesting classes and what not.”

“Drama, right? Niall told me that you had a part in Newsies in New York. That’s really incredible. You must be pretty talented.”

Oh Niall, always trying to make Louis look good. What are best mates for? Louis cleared his throat, “Off Broadway production, small and I mean really small role. But it was a great experience. How about you, what are you studying?”

“I really enjoy singing but I’m studying to be a teacher. Eh, I figure singing is just a pipe dream. But it’s been great doing the open mic nights with Niall. Best of both worlds kind of thing. Niall said you’re coming Wednesday night.”

“Of course. I love hearing Niall play and I hear you’re not half bad.”—Giving Harry a wink. Louis finally realizes that maybe Harry is here to see Ben. “Hey, if you’re here for Ben I’m not sure where he is right now. It seems like when it’s time to clean up everyone disappears”

“Not here for Ben. Just stopping by to say hi to you. Alright well I’m going to go shower. Got busy plans to do a whole lot of nothing today.”

“See you around, Harry.”

“Hope so.”—flashing Louis a dimply smile.

 

                                                                                                                          ***

The first two days of classes pass without little incident and no Harry spotting. Not like Louis is looking for him or thinking about him. Not at all, not when he is in the shower or in his bed at night. Nope, he is not thinking about him at all. He just figured he would have at least had one awkward run in with him on the steps or the porch after a romp with Ben. Nothing.

It’s Wednesday afternoon and Louis is having a quick lunch with Niall in between his classes. Louis has been trying to make an effort to spend more time with Niall since returning home. They’ve been friends since they were little, vowing to go off to uni together and live with each other till it was time to be proper grown-ups. Louis isn’t stupid, he knows that Niall was a little hurt when he took off for the States without even asking his opinion on the matter. Not like Niall would have discourage Louis, he just wished that Louis would have let him know of his plan. Instead, Louis just kind of sprung it on him three weeks before he was leaving. Only after he had all the details worked with the study abroad program. Louis knew he could be a shit friend sometimes but for some reason Niall loved him anyway.

Niall is in his hyper mood at lunch, the one he gets in when he knows he will be playing guitar in front of people. His eyes get really big and he talks faster. “Louis I’m so-so stocked you’re coming tonight. Harry is really good. You’re going to be so impressed.”

“Of course Niall. I’m looking forward to it.”

“You know, Harry keeps asking me about you.”—Niall can’t help but laugh out-loud at the look that appears on Louis’s face.

“What do you mean? Asking what?”

“Like if you’re single. What kind of guys you like. Favorite music. How many kids you want”

“Why? Doesn’t he _like_ Ben?”

“Oh Louis, fuck. C’mon Ben? Really? Yeah as much as anyone can actually _like_ being used by Ben.”

“What did you tell him”—Louis shouldn’t be curious but he can’t help it.

“That I’m pretty sure you want two kids and a dog! Really bro, that you’re single.”

“Actually I like big families so it’s more like four or five kids. Anyway, how about you tell him that I don’t sleep with guys my roommate has. Like bro-code and all.”

“Really Louis? Harry is hot and that’s coming from a straight guy. Plus he is smart and funny too. Charming I’d say. Plus you’ll never get laid if you keep following that rule you know.”

“Shit Niall, why do you think I ran off to New York. That’s how bad I needed to get laid!”

“I’m glad you’re home. I missed you mate.” Louis can tell that Niall has something else on the tip of his tongue and he doesn’t hold back. “Give Harry a chance. I think you would get along great.”

Yup, there it is. Louis goes back to enjoying his lunch, turning his attention to the game on TV. After lunch Louis is off to class and Niall is off to meet up with Harry for a quick run through.

 

                                                                                                                        ***

Niall and Louis meet up with Harry, Zayn and Liam at the pub. Louis recognize the blonde girl hanging on Zayn’s arm as Perrie, Louis thinks back to the night of his party, Zayn and Perrie must have hit it off.

The group slides into a round booth right by the stage. Louis finds himself smashed next to Harry. He looks hot in his black t-shirt and jeans that are so tight it really should be illegal. He even did his hair up in one of those head scarves he likes to wear, this one has bright blue birds. At least Louis made sure to wear pants that make his ass look brilliant. His best attribute, although Niall may argue that his eyes, smile or personality is what makes him special. But Louis is no fool.

Louis feels some nervous energy at the table while Niall plays with the label on his beer bottle and Harry bounces his leg up and down. When it’s time for them to play Louis smiles up at Harry and wish's him good luck. Harry squeezes down hard on Louis’s thigh causing a sensation to rush straight to his dick. Louis can’t help but breathe deep and shut his eyes tight. He finds his hand rubbing over the area of his thigh where Harry’s large hand had come to rest moments earlier. Fucking Ben.

Harry adjusts his mic as he takes a seat on the stool with Niall seated on his left side. Louis has to admit Harry looks like he belongs on stage. It’s like he was born to be a rock star. Harry’s deep voice comes through the speakers.

“Hi, I’m Harry Styles and this is Niall Horan. Most of you know us for our rock covers but tonight I wanted to go out of our comfort zone. So I picked a song from a really brilliant album that many of you probably have at least heard of. Anyways, hope you all enjoy.”

Louis knows the song right away, mostly because his sisters had blasted this album day and night for a whole summer. Plus he actually really enjoyed Adele, even though he may never admit it out-loud.

_You've been on my mind_

_I grow fonder every day_

_Lose myself in time_

_Just thinking of your face_

 

_I don't know why I'm scared_

_‘Cause I've been here before_

_With every feeling, every word_

_I've imagined it all_

_You'll never know,_

_if you never try_

_To forgive your past, and simply be mine_

Fuck. Harry has a beautiful voice, smooth and deep. Husky and raw. It suddenly dawns on Louis that Harry has been staring right into his eyes since the first note. Louis can’t bring himself to look away, even though he can sense people in the booth staring at him and maybe a few people in the pub as well. His pretty sure his expression never changes and he may have to remind himself to swallow.

_If I've been on your mind_

_Do you hang on every word I say_

_Lose yourself in time_

_At the mention of my name_

 

_Will I ever know_

_How it feels to hold you close_

_And have you tell me_

_Whichever road I choose you'll go_  

Shit. What the hell does Harry think he is doing right now? Louis can’t afford to fall hard for someone like Harry. He can’t bring himself to be compared to of all people Ben. Louis won’t do that to himself. Pretty or not, Louis is sticking to his rule. Different place, different time, maybe. Yeah definitely, maybe.

_To prove I am the one who can_

_Walk that mile_

_Until the end starts_

_Come on_

_And give me the chance_

_To prove I am the one who can_

_Walk that mile_

_Until the end starts_

Harry and Niall finish the song and the whole pub claps and cheers. They really smashed that song, it really is a great song to begin with so he knows that’s saying something. Louis catches Harry’s eyes again, this time he flashes a smile and gives Louis a wink. Louis takes down the rest of his drink in one gulp, Harry and Niall play two more songs but Louis is too lost in thought—or is that lust—to pay attention.


	3. Three

The first time Harry asks Louis out on a date, he says no.

The second time Harry asks Louis out on a date, he says no again.

The third time comes when Louis is spending the weekend at home with his mum and sisters. He missed the hell out of them while he was in the States. Plus, it wrecked him that he wasn’t home to spend Christmas with them this year. It feels good to be back in his childhood flat, even if it’s small, crowded, messy and loud. Basically the same adjectives that people may use to describe Louis as well. There is something soothing about sleeping in your old childhood bed with worn sheets and tattered duvet. Louis is almost asleep when he feels the phone buzz in his left ear.

_Lou, at your flat for a party. Niall tells me you’re home this weekend. I was hoping I’d get to see you. Hope you’re enjoying family time. xoxo H_

Louis isn’t’ sure why he sort of feels guilty for not telling Harry he was going home this weekend. In the past few weeks they had sort of become friends. They never hang out alone, it’s always been at the pub with the group or at home with Niall.

_Back tomorrow afternoon. I’m sure Ben can keep you busy tonight ;)_

_Louis Louis Louis, c’mon. Wanna grab dinner tomorrow night? I’m a perfect gentlemen. I swear!!_

_Sorry tomorrow won’t work---I gotta stay in and wash my hair ;)_

_What’s it going to take for me to win you over?_

_Have a goodnight Harry._

_Night Louis. Party isn’t the same without your pretty smile. xoxo_

 

The fourth time Harry asks Louis out it’s a Sunday afternoon. Louis is standing on his porch having a smoke, when he spots Harry out for a run. Harry does his usually stopping to say hi and they exchange some small talk about classes. Louis notices that Harry seems a little jittery and on edge.

Harry just blurts out, “Louis, I asked Niall why you keep turning me down. He said it’s because of Ben. Which really isn’t fair because I met Ben before I even knew that you, Louis Tomlinson, was an actual possibility. That someone as perfect as you actually exists. I can’t stop thinking about you. Please just say yes.”

Louis is completely taken aback by Harry’s words, he seems so genuine and honest. The truth is that Harry is basically perfect in his eyes too. But he can’t. He fucking can’t compete with Ben. He won’t. It’s a tragedy, really.

“Sorry Harry. I just-I can’t date you. Friends sure, but I just can’t be more. I live with him, I mean like I can’t date someone my flat mate has fucked. That’s just not okay with me.”

“Louis, I haven’t hooked up with Ben at all since the night I met you at your party. Honestly, it was only a few times before that. I’m not stupid-like I-I know he fucks around a lot. It’s not like I was taking it seriously. Just killing time. This is the fourth time I’ve asked. I-I won’t embarrass myself again”

“You don’t have to feel guilty or embarrassed Harry. It’s all good, mate. But so you know, a different time different place, I totally would say yes.”—Louis shrugs and offers Harry a smile.

“It just sucks you know. That I lost my chance with you before I even _knew_ you.”

 

 

It’s Wednesday night which means it’s off to the pub with the usual to watch Niall and Harry perform. This time Ben has decided to tag along. Louis sits on the end, the furthest he can get from Harry and Ben. Yes, he is well aware that he rejected Harry—not once—but four times. It still stings to see them so touchy and close. There is a part of Louis--maybe even a big part--that wants to give Harry a chance. Louis realizes that he has only ever seen Ben and Harry interact once or twice in the past few months. Their interaction tonight is almost too much for Louis to take, fuck it. He is just doing to get drunk.

Ben has his hands all over Harry, practically sitting in his lap. Guess that’s—Ben and Harry—happening again? Their eyes lock for a quick second, Louis can’t help but give a weak smile and look down. He can feel Harry staring for a few seconds longer. Louis gets up and walks to the bar, downs two quick shots and orders a double jack and coke. He is really drunk. Eh, he is going to need it to get through this. Thankfully, it’s time for Niall and Harry to hit the stage. He almost losses it when he catches Ben giving Harry a _good luck kiss_. Oh fuck no. Even though Harry tenses up and pulls away quickly. It’s too late, Louis has already been effected by it. This-this is why Louis said no in the first place.

Harry is doing the intro to their first song but all Louis hears is just a whole lot of blah blah blah in his ears. The image of Ben kissing Harry flashing in his mind. He thinks he may hear the start of _Teenage Dirtbag_ , before he downs his drink, gets up without so much of a word and walks out the door. He is pretty sure he hears both Zayn and Liam call his name. Fuck it, he just keeps walking.

Louis walks the four blocks to the edge of town, where one of the few gay bars is located. He is drunk and lonely, bad combination for sure. The bar has a decent crowd for a Wednesday night. Louis spots a tall skinny guy sitting alone at the bar. When Louis is _this_ drunk he is really forward. Oops.

“Hey!” Louis shouts at the guy sitting alone. He turns and flashes Louis a big smile. “Have you _slept_ with Ben Winston?”

The man is taken aback by the comment at first but quickly answers back, “I don’t kiss and tell. But who the fuck is Ben Winston?”

“Good. Buy me a drink!”

“Damn you’re bossy. I like you! Names Nick.”

“Louis.”

“You here alone Nick?”

“Till you came along.”

“Good.”

Nick and Louis both finish their drinks. If Louis thought he was drunk before, he may be completely smashed now.

He feels his phone buzz in his pocket. There are two text messages from Niall and three from Harry. Both of them seem concerned that Louis just got up and walked out on their performance. He doesn’t answer back.

“Hey Nick, take me home?”

“After you, love!”

The walk back to Nicks flat is short, it’s small but nice, plus it’s free of flat mates. Louis is pretty sure he isn’t going to remember much, if any of this tomorrow. They kiss, suck each other off and both pass out. He wakes up in the middle of the night to text from Harry flashing on his phone.

_Niall said you never came home. Hope you’re okay. Call me if you need a ride or help. We are all worried. Please text me you’re okay—H_

 

He throws the phone and goes back to sleep.


	4. Four

Louis wakes up, disorientated and confused. Oh Nick. Yes Nick, oh no Nick, who is snoring lightly next to him. It’s a little before seven and the sun is just starting to rise. He gathers his clothes and phone, leaving a note on the bed side table with his phone number. Eh, it’s the least he can do. Now, for the walk of shame.

Louis realizes he has no idea where he is in reference to his own flat but after a few minutes of walking straight. When it doubt always walk straight. He comes upon the gay bar he was at last night. Thankfully he can find his way home from here. Only good thing about walk of shame this early in the morning, not too many people out to witness the misery. He flips on his phone and finds Niall’s last text from an hour or so ago.

_Louis I’m so fucking worried. This isn’t like you mate. You better not be dead, fuck if you’re still alive I’m going to be so pissed at you. Is it so hard to just send me one fucking text saying you’re okay. FUCK_

Louis puts Niall out of his misery.

_Sorry Niall. Walk of shame now, be home soon._

He passes by Harry’s house on the way to his own. Praying they don’t run into each other. Louis knows he looks like a fucking mess right now. He finds Zayn with his backpack on his way to the bus stop bright and early. Zayn does a double take when he sees Louis approaching, in the same clothes from last night. Zayn can’t help but laugh out-loud and shake his head.

“Well fuck Louis. At least you’re alive. Had Harry up all night with worry. Although, if I’m being honest, I’m pretty sure he would rather you been in a ditch hurt and dying than coming back with hickeys on your neck, shit mate.”

Ugh what? Hickeys? Oh, oh his mind flashes back to Nick.

“I haven’t’ seen myself. It is that bad?”

“Mate, I think it’s safe to say this is going to break Harry’s heart for like the fifth time. You know he thinks the sun like shines out of your ass or something.”

“He doesn’t even know me.”

“Ha it’s not for lack of trying, Louis. I gotta go to the studio get some work done before class. Have a good one.”

 

*** 

 

After a week of sporting hoodies to help hide the embarrassment that is his neck thankfully by Saturday night the bruises are almost all healed. He hasn’t seen Harry all week and he is pretty sure it might have to do with the love bites on his neck. On the up side, he did see Ben with two new hook-up buddies this week, neither whom are Harry so Louis thinks that might mean Harry and Ben have moved on since last week.

It’s Saturday night and Louis hasn’t seen Niall all day. Who the fuck knows where Ben is off too. Louis picks up a case of beer and plans to have a nice evening sitting on his patch of grass in the backyard. This has become a new _thing_ for Louis since his party months ago. He likes his little patch of grass. It may be his favorite place to sit and get drunk. Louis hears Niall calling his name from inside the house.

“Out in the backyard, mate.”

Much to his surprise out comes Niall, Harry, Liam, Zayn, Perrie and some blonde girl he doesn’t know. Harry flashes him a bright smile as he sits himself down across from Louis on the grass. Before long everyone is drinking and having a _sit_ in the grass. Louis is feeling pretty buzzed at the moment and Harry looks fucking ace tonight. Louis just feels like a fucking idiot. Fuck, could he be a bigger fucking wanker? Louis can't keep his eyes off of Harry. Shit.

Then there is Niall, lovely lovely Niall, who of course knows just how to make Louis feel so uncomfortable and Niall loves every minute of it. Yes, lovely Niall suggests a game of spin the bottle. Louis makes it through the first couple rounds unscathed. Perrie and blonde girl kiss—blonde girl and Liam—Liam and Harry share a quick hilarious peck. Right as Harry takes his turn to spin the bottle Niall sticks out his foot to ensure the bottle stops on Louis. Really Niall? Really?

Harry bites down on his lower lip and gages Louis’s reaction to Niall’s little move. Harry is waiting for Louis to respond.

“Well come on Harry _show_ me what you got!”—Louis yells out to Harry, giving him a quick wink.

Harry gets up on all fours and slowly crawling over to Louis. Shit. This could be the hottest thing ever. Louis can hear the others laughing and squealing, he is pretty sure he hears someone say, _holy_ _shit_ and _finally._

Harry sits back on his knees right in front of Louis, practically in his lap. Louis can’t help but bite down hard on his lower lip when he sees Harry lick his own lips. Harry leans in placing his mouth on the outside of Louis’s ear, whispering ever so softly, “I’ve been waiting to do this since the first night we met. I’m going to fucking smash this kiss.” Louis can’t help but shiver, not sure if it’s Harry deep voice or the idea of actually kissing him that has him so turned on. Harry’s makes eye contact with Louis again, brings his lips to Louis’s mouthing one more time, “smashing it” before he gently places his two large hands on Louis’s cheeks bringing his pink wet lips to meet Louis’s thin lips. Harry taste like liquor and a hint of lime. He can’t help but place his hands in Harry’s curls pulling lightly while Harry slowly licks at his lips and slips his tongue into meet Louis’s. The kiss goes on for a minute or days, Louis is so zoned in on Harry he really has no clue how long they actually kiss. When they finally pull apart Louis can’t bring himself to open his eyes. Harry lets out a laugh, whispering too Louis,

“Open up your eyes, babe.”

“Mmmmm, I have such a boner right now. Fuck. Yeah you smashed it.”—Louis doesn’t care that he just blurted that out-loud, he has always been an honest drunk. If one kiss can wreck him like this, Louis doesn’t stand a chance.

“That’s the hottest thing I’ve ever heard.” Harry runs his thumb over Louis’s red lips. “Give me chance Lou, let me take you on a date.”

“Okay one date. You have one date.”

“I’m going to win you over. I got lots of tricks up my sleeve. One date is all I need.”

Both boys turn back to the group who are still staring and smiling at them. Niall chimes in first,

“Fucking finally. Plus if I’m being honest I think I may have a boner too.”

“Yeah I agree that kiss kinda turned me one too.”—Pierre laughs turning into Zayn who puts his arms around her shoulders.

 

***

 

Two days before Louis and Harry’s first official date, Ben confronts Louis in the kitchen about the kiss with Harry in the backyard. Louis isn't surprised that Ben found out, Niall does love to gossip.

“Heard about some steamy kiss in the backyard. I’m not mad at all Lou. Harry is a really great guy. Glad you’re giving it a try with him. You guys are kind of cute together. Short meets tall, loud meets quiet, hipster meets skater.”

The fuck? Louis is at a lost on how to handle how easy Ben is being about Louis and Harry going on a real date. He kind of expected a little more of a fight, Ben pulling the bro-card and all.

“Thanks Ben. You’re right Harry is a really great guy. I’m just happy that you’re so fucking stupid.”

“Oh c’mon. You know that’s not my style, Lou. I may be a self-proclaimed player but I do have some heart. So you know Harry and me never fuck-fucked. I could just tell he wore his heart on his sleeve. Plus him being friends with Nailler I didn’t want to screw that up for them. Just thought you should know. There still some of him that can be special just for you.”

What the fuck is happening. Ben being civilized? Louis doesn’t know how to respond so he just nods and walks back to his room. Right before Louis turns to walk up the stairs he blurts out,

"Just so you know I wasn't waiting for your permission."

Yup, Louis always needs to get the last word.

 

 


	5. Five

Louis isn’t sure why he is so nervous, it’s just Harry. Possibly one of the nicest and easiest people to be around on this planet. One simple date,  just dinner and a movie back at Harry’s place. Louis can’t help but laugh at the way Harry had worked watching a movie at his flat into the date. Making sure Louis is well aware the Zayn will be away for the weekend and Liam had made plans with some new chick he met.

Harry picks out a little Italian restaurant which is Louis’s favorite type of food. Already Harry is working his way to a possible second date and maybe even marriage if he keeps it up. During dinner they share stories about growing up,  about their hometowns and family. They learn both of them have been raised basically by single mothers and both have sisters whom they adore. Harry is happy to learn that Louis enjoys singing and is decent.  Harry is hoping he can convince him to do a duet at open mic night one time. Louis thinks he might actually like that very much.

Louis loves that he seems to catch Harry off guard with his humor and wit but Harry always adjusts--no matter how off color the comment--Harry is ready to offer a witty response. Fuck, could Harry be more perfect? The conversation is effortless, Louis is happy he doesn’t have to bring out his joke about leaving his list of things to talk about at home, because the silence is never awkward--just comfortable and easy. Thankfully, Harry never brings up Louis's one night stand last week and Louis sure as shit doesn’t ask about Ben. Louis finds himself hoping that this may actually work out after all.

Anybody observing from the outside it would appear that these two have been together for years, not on their first date. Louis could get use to this. Shit. Louis wouldn’t say he is in love, not yet. No, not yet. Okay maybe a little. If you can actually be a little in love. Oh fuck. There will definitely be a second date!

 

***

“Harry, a date isn’t a date without dessert, you do know that right?”

“What do you have in mind. I mean I can think of a few things but?”

“But what? Get your mind out of the gutter, Harold! I want a proper dessert, an ice cream cone from Storm Bro’s.”

“You want an ice cream cone, Lou? Okay let’s get the big boy an ice cream cone.”

 

 

They sit close and snuggle under a blanket on the couch to watch Anchorman, it’s funny and mindless so it works. This is one of the first times that neither one of them are buzzed or drunk, Louis thinks that is a good thing because he really wants to enjoy getting to know Harry on a whole new level. Plus, if Harry should ask him to stay he would very much like to remember every detail of a naked and turned on Harry. Louis is already anticipating how this is going to go now that the movie is ending, ugh does he wait for Harry to ask. Does he ask to stay? Louis decides to feel Harry out and take it from there. Thankfully Harry has made it simple for him.

“Stay the night Lou? Seems silly to let the fact that no one is here go to waste? Not that I’m anticipating sex or anything. It’s just that privacy doesn’t happen much around here so-yeah. Plus I really like to see you naked in _my_ bed. Okay, I’m just gonna stop talking now”

“Harry, no need to start getting flustered around me now. Yes, I really like to stay.”

“Bedroom? Now?”

 

Harry flings off his shirt throwing it onto the floor. Fuck. Louis is so turned on by Harry's body and tattoos, he has even more tattoo's than Louis knew from afar. Harry is just a walking contradiction, he is happy and easy to be around but littered with deep meaningful tattoos. He talks slow and wants to be a teacher but has the voice and stage presence of a rock star. Louis isn’t sure how he got this lucky at this moment. Louis is pretty sure this is going to end badly for everyone involved because good stuff doesn't happen to Louis, but for now he is going to enjoy the fall. Shit, back to the task at hand. Louis strips off his shirt, shimmying out of his pants. Louis has never really been shy so he is just going to go for it. Standing in just of his boxers he smiles up at a half dressed Harry.

Harry walks over to Louis, running his hands down his back. “You take my breath away.” Harry strips down to just his boxers, fuck. It's just not even right for someone to look like that good naked.

Before Louis can even answer Harry lays him down in the bed touching his lips to Louis for one shimmering moment, then no longer able to control themselves a wild and wicked need takes over them both. Arousal and longing is swirling inside Louis belly but he wants things to be different with Harry. But they are grinding on each other and it feels so good even between the layers of their boxers. Oh. God, so good. He could come like this, in his boxers, like a pubescent school boy. Louis is sure he wouldn't even care, because oh it's Harry and it's amazing. Louis can't help but run his tongue over Harry's neck, sucking small marks over his neck and down to his collarbone. Harry lets out a throaty moan, Louis is sure it's the prettiest noise he has ever heard. He wants to be the one to make him sound like that every day. The _only_ one. Harry's hands are running up and down Louis's back, Harry is pressing his fingernails into his skin and Louis can't help but shiver, goosebumps spread over his skin. Louis feels Harry hands start to drift under his boxers, over his bum, Louis's dick is rock hard now and aching with need. Louis does not want this to be just a one time thing, he would like this to last. But fuck Harry is so hot and perfect, Louis’s isn’t sure he can bring himself to stop. If he doesn't do it now he may never,

“Harry, wait, wait.”—Louis pulls himself off of Harry’s body.

“What’s wrong Louis?"-- A concerned look flashes over Harry's face.

“God, nothing’s wrong. You're perfect, this is perfect. I just want to take this slow, you mean a lot to me. I don’t want this to be like a fling. Fuck. I don’t even know. I mean for me personally I want this to be more. Shit-shit I mean I’m not trying to scare you away or whatever. Shit. Do you want something more?”

“Are you asking me to be your boyfriend?” Harry ask through the biggest smile.

“I just think we should talk about the elephant in the room. Like you fucking with Ben and I had a one night stand with some guy at a bar. It’s just that I wanted to come into this like an adult. After you asked me out I went to clinic and got tested. I get the results Monday. I-I just I really like you Harry.”—Louis knows he avoided the question but his answer was honest.

“I really like you too Louis. Fuck you look amazing without clothes on so that doesn’t hurt either.”

“Not so bad yourself, Harold.”

“Louis, you never answered the question.”

“Yes-yes I want you to be my boyfriend. I mean if you want that too.”

“Yes, I would like that a lot. Funny thing, I went last week and got tested too. I get my results back Tuesday.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously! I’m all good with waiting ‘cause it’s going to be so worth it Louis. I’ve been thinking about fucking you for a so long what’s a few more days. Will you please still stay the night? We could still cuddle, kiss and touch.”

“Okay yea I like kissing you a lot. Plus touching, I like touching a lot”

 

 

 

Louis gets the call he has been waiting for on Monday afternoon. All negative. Not that Louis was actually overly worried. It just that everything with Harry feels so different than he’s felt with anyone else. One Tuesday afternoon Louis gets a text from Harry

_NEGATIVE!!!!! I’m going to fuck you so good babe. BEST. DAY. EVER._

 


	6. Six

Really? Louis reads the text to himself while he sits waiting for class to start. Shit, he is half hard right now thinking about Harry fucking him, God probably sometime in the next few hours. Louis shoots Harry a quick text, three minutes before class starts.

_Babe I’m half hard waiting for class to start, this is going to be the longest 90 minutes of my life. FUCK. You’re cruel…so fucking cruel!!!!_

 

 _At my flat waiting for you, Lou._ _No one’s home!!!! See you after class HURRRRY!!!_

 

Louis is in pain, his dick is throbbing at the thought of Harry alone waiting to fuck Louis. Class is dragging and Louis should be taking notes but he can’t concentrate. He keeps staring at the clock, fuck this is torture. He can’t help but tap his leg up and down and he is pretty sure he sighs loudly every time he looks at the clock. Sighing even louder when he see's that only a minute or two has passed since the last time he checked.

Focus. Focus. Focus. For fuck sake Louis. Finally after ninety minutes of pain he hears the professor wrap up class and telling his students that he’d see them Thursday afternoon. Louis fucking books it to Harry’s house, half running half walking. He is pretty sure he may have set a record of sorts. Louis is flushed, breathing heavily, and a little sweaty when he arrives at Harry’s door.

“The fuck Louis? Did you run here?”

“A little. Shit I-I should probably stop smoking. Sorry. Do you know how hard it is to run with a boner?”

Harry can’t help but laugh. “Come on babe, let’s get you some water then I’ll see what I can do about that boner of yours”

Louis breathing has finally returned to normal as he sits on Harry’s desk chair drinking his water, naughty thoughts still racing through his mind. Harry is going to fuck him today, oh God yes. Yes. Where the fuck is Harry right now? Louis gets up and finds Harry on his cell in the kitchen. Harry clears his throat and looks up at him, giving him a sympathetic look, mouthing the words _sorry_. He hears Harry tell his mum he would make a bigger effort to call her more often, apologizing again and with _I love you too mum,_ he hangs up.

“Sorry, I’ve been missing her all week. Thought she might make her way down here if I didn’t finally pick up. Didn’t want any interruptions.”

“It’s okay. I got one of those too!”

Harry walks over to Louis, planting a wet kiss on his lips, than slowly kisses over Louis’ jawline and down to his neck and collarbone. Louis can’t help but let out a soft moan, Harry pulls away, “Fuck, Louis you don’t know want you do to me.” Louis jumps up, wrapping his legs around Harry’s waist, it still amazes Louis how effortlessly Harry can hold him up. Harry stumbles backwards to his bedroom lightly dropping Louis down on his bed. Harry's knees are pressed against Louis’s hip, leaning over Louis as he whispers, “I’m going to make you feel so good babe. So good.” Louis can’t help but shudder at his words, feeling warmth run through his body. It suddenly hits Louis that they both have way too many clothes on, he reaches up to help Harry take off his shirt. Harry quickly follows with his belt, jeans and boxers. Before Louis is even able to react Harry is carefully removing Louis’s jeans and boxers, Louis quickly removes his shirt.

Naked skin touching naked skin. Warm skin touching warm skin. Yes, this is happening. Finally happening. They are kissing and touching, it’s amazing. Harry is kissing Louis, working his way down Louis's neck, chest, belly, hips and inner thigh. Biting lightly. _Please, more. Please_. Louis know he sounds desperate but he is.

“Hands behind your head, Lou.” Louis sucks in his breath and squints his eyes, about to protest, because Louis doesn’t usually give over control. This is different, this is Harry, sexy Harry. Fuck it, Louis placed his arms behind his head giving a weak smile to Harry and closes his eyes. “you're so gorgeous, Louis. Like this, naked like this.” Harry quickly squirts lube over his fingers, than slowly begins working his warm fingers into Louis’s hole while running his warm tongue up, down and over Louis’s aching and leaking dick. It’s just too much, too much pleasure. Louis’s eyes fly open making contact with Harry’s glossy eyes, “let me ride you Harry, pl-please now.” Louis’s voice sounds desperate and low, afraid that he may come before Harry even penetrates him. “Yeah, ok-ok. God you’re amazing, Louis.”

Harry smears lube down his dick while Louis adjust himself onto Harry’s lap. Harry lines his dick up with Louis’s hole and begins slowly pushing inside of Louis. Harry lets out a breathy moan, as Louis lowers himself further onto Harry’s large dick. Louis feels a rush of pain, a good burn as he stretches around Harry. Louis feels water rushing to his eyes so he starts moving up and down, which quickly helps turn the burn into pleasure. _Pure_ pleasure. “Fuck, fuck, Harry fuck.” The words escape Louis's lips as he feels the pure bliss of the right kind of touch over and over again. Harry mouth is gaped open while he breathes heavily, moans escaping his mouth with every thrust. His hands are greedy, running up and down Louis’s back, groping skin. Louis is losing more and more control with ever brush against his prostate, with one loud moan of Harry’s name he comes all over, the warm liquid running down his chest and belly. He resists the urge to go limp from the incredible orgasm as he continues to bounce on Harry’s lap, three more times before Harry’s comes hard, moaning into Louis’s neck. They both fall back in a heap...sweaty, sticky and wrecked. Louis sits up, leaning over and planting a kiss on Harry’s mouth.

“Harry, that was amazing.”

“Mmmmm, right back at you, babe.” 

***

Hours later, after a shower and take-out, they are sitting on Harry’s couch watching mindless television. Louis is curled up in Harry’s strong arms, he doesn’t know if he has ever felt this safe before. Harry clears is throat,

“Lou I want to hear you sing.”

“Umm, like right now?”

“Yeah, right now.”

Louis bites on his finger, hesitant to answer because it’s Harry and his opinion matters to Louis, really matters. He knows he has a unique voice and with some practice and work he could probably really be decent. Harry seems to sense Louis’s hesitation and chimes in,

“Shit Lou, you’re not getting shy on me now are you? It’s not like your trying out for X Factor, it’s just me, babe.”

“Ahhh, fuck. Just be nice okay.”

“C’mon. When am I anything but nice? Now stop stalling and get to it!”

“Shit, okay. I’m just gonna go for it.”

Louis sits up and clears his throat. Sucks in a deep breath and goes for it,

 

_Well sometimes I go out by myself_

_And I look across the water_

_And I think of all the things, what you're doing_

_And in my head I paint a picture_

_Since I've come on home,_

_Well my body's been a mess_

_And I've missed your ginger hair_

_And the way you like to dress_

_Won't you come on over_

_Stop making a fool out of me_

_Why don't you come on over, Valerie?_

 

Harry has the biggest smile on his face and shaking his head when Louis finally looks up for his reaction.

“Are you fucking kidding me Lou? That was amazing. Your voice is so-so soft and unique. I swear you never fail to surprise me. And I’m not just saying that cause I like fucking you. I’m totally in love with your voice.”

“That’s very sweet Harry. Thank you. Although, are you sure it’s not cause we’re fucking that you’re saying that?”

Harry jumps up, grabbing his phone off the kitchen counter. Quickly, sending what looks like a text message. Louis can’t fight his curiosity,

“Who are you texting?”

“Niall of course. ‘Cause we’re doing this Louis. We are going to perform Valerie next week, you, me and Niall. It’s going to be amazing.”

“Wait, wait, wait. No. I-I can’t. Are you kidding right now?”

“No, plus you said you would on our first date. We have a week to make it sound perfect. Plus with your higher pitch and my deeper voice we are the perfect complement to each other.”

“Perfect huh?”

“Yes Louis, we are perfect." Giving Louis a quick wink. "you're prefect.”

 

***

Louis is freaking out. It’s Wednesday night and their friends are gathered in the usual booth waiting for open mic to start. Oh shit, Louis is completely second guessing his decision to sing with Harry. Maybe he should just get drunk, just a little liquid courage. But he doesn’t want to be a fumbling mess on stage. Fuck, what if he lets Harry down?

Maybe he should run. He is seated closest to the door, he could make a mad dash for it before anyone would catch him. Louis stares at the door, actually contemplating running. He feels a familiar warm and soft touch on his leg, he turns to see Harry giving him a reassuring smile. “You’re gonna be great babe. Okay.” With that Harry places a gentle kiss on Louis’s lips but never removes his hand from Louis’s leg. Shit, there goes his chance to run. Its one song and Harry will be by his side his whole time. Okay he can do this.

Louis is seated to Harry’s right, Niall to his left. Okay so this is actually happening. Okay.

“Hiiii mates, as you can see there are three of us up here tonight. This is Louis, and tonight we’re going to be doing a duet. He is brilliant, hope you all enjoy.”

It's a good thing, a really good thing that Harry has the first line of the song. Once Louis hears Harry's strong voice he's no longer afraid, here he goes. Their singing, making eye contact with each other and sometime with the patrons in the pub. They are into it, having fun and they sound solid. Like really fucking solid.

With that the pub cheers and Harry looks over at Louis with the biggest grin ever.  Harry and Niall play two more songs while Louis gets congratulated at the table and gets free drinks from the bartender. Before he knows it maybe an hour or two have passed and he is blitz. High off adrenalin and free beer, he just feels happy.  Happy to be with Harry.

Harry wraps his arms around Louis stomach while he gently helps him to the cab. Louis falls with a thump in the seat. Harry climbs in next to him.

Louis slurs out, "th-thank you Haz, for letting me s-s-sing this with you. It-it was the best night ever."

"Louis you were ace, babe. I couldn't take my eyes off you, still can't or more like I never could.  Nobody in that pub could take their eyes off you."

"Mmmm, you're too sweet."

"You have to realize that right, Louis? The way people stare at you, you're magnetic."

Louis just stares up at Harry asking, "You-you really think I'm like magnetic?"

Harry licks his lips before biting down hard on Louis bottom lip, sucking and letting go, "yes, I think you're perfect."

 

***

Harry is taking his usual post performance shower, Louis has come to just go with the fact that Harry likes to shower alone after they get back from the pub. Something about going over the good and bad in his head so he knows what he can do better next time. Eh, Louis just goes with it. He is sitting on Harry's bed watching some reality show, laughing at the stupidity and coming down from his buzz, when Harry enters his bedroom. He stops at the door, leans on the frame, giving Louis a strange look. A look that causes a little bit of panic to rise in Louis's gut.

"You okay, H?"

"Yeah, I just, ugh."--Harry stops mid sentence running his hands through his hair before rubbing the back of his neck. Takes a deep breath and continues, "Louis I-I love you, I'm fucking in love with you. And like I know it seems fast or I don't know but I just wanted to say it to you...out loud. I'm not asking you to say it back, okay. I just-just needed to say it."

Louis is staring at Harry speechless. Processing the words that seem to hang in the air. I mean Louis could be in love with Harry. It would be so simple and easy but it's just sudden and so _next_ level. Which Louis isn't opposed too. Commitment and Harry aren't scary to Louis. It's just the Louis knows that really fucking amazing sex does not mean love. Nor does really good sex replace actually getting to know one another. He just needs to make sure that Harry gets that too. He likes Harry to much to fuck this up over the confusion between lusting for and loving someone.

They stare at each other for about twenty seconds before Louis breaks the silence, "drop the towel and lay down on your belly."

Harry does it. Louis climbs on top of Harry, straddling his back between his legs. Louis starts kissing behind Harry's ear, before whispering ever so softly, "You think you love me?" Harry moans under Louis, his voice muffled in the pillow below him.  Louis continues to trail kisses down the back of Harry neck, "do you even know my favorite color?" Louis continues kissing down Harry's upper back, "or how I got the scar on my right knee?" He continues kissing Harry's lower back and the curve of his ass, "or how many times I moved as a child?" Harry moaning after ever question. Louis gently spreads Harry's cheeks lowering his tongue around Harry's rim, licking slow, wet and hot lines up and down. Over and over again. Harry quivering and breathing heavy underneath him. Muffled moans in the pillow and hands grasping tight around the fitted bed sheet. Louis continues to tease Harry with his tongue for a few more moments before pulling Harry up around the waist, grabbing onto Harry's hard and leaking dick. Gentle stroking at first, "just because you like fucking me Styles doesn't mean you fucking love me." Louis starts stroking Harry harder and more desperate as Harry moans and shakes below him. After a few more quick jerks Harry comes all over Louis's hand, with Louis's name desperate on his lips. Harry sweaty body goes limp, he closes his eyes while Louis plants a gentle kiss on Harry's lips. A few seconds pass before Harry speaks.

"I love you, Louis. It has nothing to do with sex, I love you. Your personality, your sense of humor, your voice, your face, your eyes, your smile, your hair, your dancing skills, your ass. All of it. It's fine, you know, that you don't say it or whatever right now. But I'm _not_ taking it back. I love you Louis"

"Okay Haz, fair enough. You're pretty perfect too"

"What is your favorite color by the way?"

"Orange. Yours?"

"Blue."

That's a start Louis thinks. A really good fucking start.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> chapter two coming soon!  
> Cheers :)


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